What's On Your Beam?

One of the things I really wanted to do this year with some of my downtime is start up a new womens group. I've taught ladies classes at church and organized ladies functions for a few years and I've been feeling like God needed more from me. Like maybe I had become too comfortable in the setting I was in and he needed me to reach deeper for my own sake and the sake of others I may could minister to or have a voice with. So I prayed for awhile about the best way to handle this. For now I know one thing I am being called to do is use this womens group to encourage and uplift this generation of moms/daughters/friends/sisters/wives. Women who most assuredly feel they get it all wrong at least 99% of the time.

With that being said one of my absolute favorite womens authors in the world ,Jen Hatmaker, came out with a new book called For the Love and I knew immediately I had to do something with this. You will not find more sarcasm, wit and pure love for Jesus in one place anywhere else. You just wont so stop here and go buy this book.

We have our second meet up next Monday and I have had several ask me what we will be talking about and how we will turn this into a bible study. The answer is it won't be your typical bible study because if you know this author she is not your typical womens author/speaker. We will absolutely talk about Jesus and his love for us and what we can expect from him and what he wants from us but we will address an even bigger issue and that is what we expect from ourselves and what we expect from others. It is a plague right now with social media and people having access to others at their best and most glorious times. Catching all the latest good news and accomplishments. Rarely catching the moments when someone has a bad hair day, utters hurtful words or just plain has a rotten day. Almost like those parts of us are not acceptable and there is some standard for facebook that says "keep it light and keep it movin".

The first topic of discussion is going to be about the beam. The invisible beam we all have that we in theory try to get to balance daily. We put on and take off in a delicate way so as not to upset the balance and knock the whole thing completely off. I guess the main question is are we giving thoughtful consideration to what needs to be on our beam or off. Or are we simply trying to arrange our beam in a way that we please everyone around us or appear as if we have it all together. Do we just try and piece all of it together so we can squeeze it all on no matter what? Here is a snippet from the book.....

"If I had to recite the top questions I am asked in interviews, conversations and emails, certainly included would be this one: How do you balance work, family and community? And every time I think: Do you even know me? Balance. It's like a unicorn; we have heard about it, everyone talks about it and makes airbrushed t-shirts celebrating it, it seems super rad, but we haven't actually seen one. I'm beginning to think it isn't a thing."

Her major point on this one is we are all chasing something that DOES NOT EXIST. We think of balance and we think it means our ability or inability to aptly juggle all four million three hundred and twenty seven tasks laid out before us each day and never let a hair be out of place or let anyone catch us off guard. This is simply something that is running us ragged and stealing our joy. It is making us feel inadequate when there is no reason we should feel like we are not enough to offer to our friends, family and community because we have a God who has cleared the path for us. They don't need a dog and pony show. They just need US doing the few things that we can do really well and are passionate at and sharing that pieces of ourselves and letting our light shine bright. Balance is found when we intertwine what we love and are good at to meet the top needs around us. Notice I did not say ALL the needs. Just the ones that are most crucial to where we are personally and with our family and their life stage.

So, next Monday night come prepared to see what God has in store for you. Hear others talk about what is on their beam and what is off. That's where the growth is going to happen. Jen says in her book "we need to quit trying to be awesome and start being wise". There is no better way to say that. To help in your decisions look inward and see what you think your talents are. Do you have any special skills? Do you have any passions or hobbies that could be used to help others? What makes you feel most like you?  What is this season of your life in need of? What drains you? What do you dread? One that I think is something we are all guilty of is what are we doing for the wrong reasons? Another important thing to remember is that what goes on and off your beam is determined by you and you can change as your life changes and downgrade and upgrade things as needed. Sometimes the cuts are hard and even brutal but God wants there to be freedom in these decisions. In freedom there is where we find life.

The next group will meet on October 12th at 7 pm at my house. This is an open group. Not one specific church or group of friends. We would love to have anyone who wants to discuss things that matter most to us and can help us all to be better at all the roles we fill as   moms/daughters/friends/sisters/wives.

Till then,
Blessings & Peace

All things New

My husband and I got married right before I graduated college and dated through high school. We married and lived in this blissful little world where it was just us and work and friends. Sometimes I regret being so selfish but it was the only time in our lives we would have gotten to be that selfish as those days are long gone so we lived it up. We had over 5 years together of just us. You get the point? We married in November 2003 and we decided in August about 2008 we wanted more. We felt like something was missing. We had so much fun traveling and being 20 year olds but there was still just a little something more we felt we needed. So, as the story goes a few months later we found out we would be adding a new family member.

Fast forward to present day. We have two handsome sons. Cooper is about to turn 6 and will be starting Kindergarten in August. Parker is about to turn 4 and will be starting a pre k program that will be 5 half days a week. This is one of those moments in my life where I again feel something is missing or needing more or shifting in a way thats just not quite comfortable. It's a weird can't put my finger on it feeling. I/we are about to embark into the unknown. My kiddos have been a lot of what my world has revolved around since August 11, 2009 when I first held our sweet baby boy in my arms. Like I've heard mentioned several times there is nothing new under the sun. All these feelings and firsts I am about to experience have been experienced before by many who have gone before me. I know that I will be ok and life will go on. It always does. I will have to keep repeating that my first full day with both kids in school to keep from rocking back and forth in a corner somewhere....I'm only partially kidding.

The question at hand though is who will I be? What will I do? What is my name and do I even own nice clothes anymore? All valid questions and ones I will have to figure out the answers to before its all said and done. I guess the main purpose of this blog for me is to figure out what my "new" normal will look like. Go back to the things I used to enjoy before small little tushies that constantly needed cleaning and small mouths constantly needed feeding. Volunteering and trying my hand at cooking more and getting healthier is always on the agenda for me. It is a constant balance for and yes the struggle is real! Work on pursuing womens ministry more in depth in some form or fashion which I have come to realize sometimes just looks like having the time to sit down with someone and being a listening ear when they don't have someone to confide in or just showing up for those people who are a bit downcast and downtrodden from the storms of life. It doesn't have to be some big production, In fact I'm pretty over the over produced and want to be more authentic and more real and show you can do this life in a more honest way.

I guess we will get started and see where I am led. Being vulnerable is a scary thing but I think we have to open ourselves up for change to take place. Allow God to get into these spaces of my life that I am not sure what to do with and let him show me how full he can make them and that he can make something beautiful and new out of what is right in front of my eyes.